Thursday, December 16, 2010

YO MAMMA SO FAT

  • when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
  • when people jog around her for exercise
  • when she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
  • when she was in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world
  • when she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
  • when she got to iron her pants on the driveway
  • when she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
  • when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
  • when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
  • when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
  • when she steps on a talking scale and it told her to get off!!!
  • when she fell in love and broke it.
  • when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
  • when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
  • when she's got her own area code!
  • when she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
  • whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
  • when her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
  • when I had to take a train to get on her good side!
  • when she wakes up in sections!
  • when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
  • when she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
  • when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
  • when she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
  • when that her senior picture had to be aerial view!
  • when every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
  • when she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
  • when she got hit by a parked car!
  • when they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
  • when she has to buy two airline tickets.
  • when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up.
  • when she influences the tides.
  • when that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
  • when the animals at the zoo feed her.
  • when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
  • when she stands in two time zones.
  • when you have to grease the door frame and hold at winkie on the other side just to get her through.
  • when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
  • when that she can't tie her own shoes.
  • when she sets off car alarms when she runs.
  • when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
  • when the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
  • she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
  • when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
  • that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
  • when she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
  • when to her, "light food" means under 4 tons
  • when she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
  • when she was zoned for commercial development

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