Thursday, December 16, 2010


  • when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
  • just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
  • they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
  • instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
  • she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
  • when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
  • her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
  • the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
  • that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
  • she made an onion cry.
  • when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . . . for a quote!
  • she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
  • she looks out the window and gets arrested!
  • even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
  • Ted Danson wouldn't date her!
  • for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
  • she turned Medusa to stone!
  • people go as her for Halloween.
  • she scares the roaches away.
  • I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
  • that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
  • she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow
  • she has to sneak up on a glass of water

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