Teacher vs My Mom

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you ask your mom for another, how much money would you have?

Suzie: One dollar.

Teacher: You dont know much about arithmetic, do you?

Suzie: You dont know much about my mom!

Top 5 Homework Excuses

1. My dad had a nervous breakdown and he cut it up to make paper dolls.
2. My pet gerbil had babies and they used it to make a nest.
3. I didn’t do it because I didn’t want the other kids in the class to look bad.
4. I lost it fighting this kid you who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
5. I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.

Why Black?

Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white???

Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should

be thankful that you are not barking!!!

Irritation, Aggravation & Frustration

A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.

Dad picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered he asks, "Can I speak to Roger, please?"

"No! There's no one called Roger here." The person hangs up.

"That's irritation," says Dad.

He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Roger a second time.

"No, there's no one here called Roger. Go away. Don't call again"

"That's aggravation."

"Then what's 'frustration'?" asks his son.

The father picks up the phone and dials a third time:

"Hello, this is Roger. Have I received any phone calls?"